Skip to main content

Effeminate Behaviours

Men Therapy - Effeminate Behaviours

Effeminate Behaviours

Effeminate behaviours are behaviours that men exhibit that are more stereotypical female in nature. This could include more overt displays of emotion and a deeper focus on one’s personal appearance to name just a few. To display or exhibit effeminate behaviours does not make an individual less masculine.

However, often times these effeminate behaviours are the consequence of perceiving oneself as an emasculated male. Believing that one is ‘not man enough’ (emasculated male) is often not a conscious process.

A man may not even be aware that they are operating under this false belief system. Yet, to the man, it is absolutely true. They have internalized deeply that they are an emasculated male. What takes place next is what others would describe as effeminate behaviours.

Start Psychotherapy

Effeminate Behaviours Explained

Once a man has internalized the belief that they are an emasculated male (i.e. not man enough) it becomes difficult to engage in stereotypical masculine behaviours. There is a deep personal sense of shame that can have the experience of overwhelming the man and as such, he feels like he must reject typical masculine behaviours. He may feel like he has no right to participate in the activities of men. To the man engaging in masculine behaviours and activities may provide an opportunity to show the world the truth of who they are (i.e. lacking as men).

If a man believes that they are not man enough they will feel compelled do everything possible to keep that hidden from others. As a result the best way to do so would be not to engage in any stereotypical masculine behaviours. It is only in engaging in those activities that others could see them as lacking so it becomes best not to engage in them all together. This may seem counter-intuitive but to the man it makes perfect sense.

Effeminate Behaviours Consequence

The problem with the decision to avoid any masculine behaviors or activities is that now the man will be the target of ridicule from others. This ridicule will be focused squarely on the man’s perceived effeminate behaviors.

The man then becomes deeply confused and distraught. Now, the man feels that his perceived belief about himself must be true because people are calling him out on it. His pain deepens but more importantly, he starts to more deeply internalize and believe that he is an emasculated male.

It becomes a very vicious cycle whereby by trying to protect himself from his negative false belief he now actually reinforces it.

Men Therapy - Effeminate Behaviours 2


Focusing on Men’s Mental Health for a Change

Enter your email to subscribe to our Mentorship newsletter to get news and
updates relating to men’s mental health.