Pornography or porn addiction has exploded with the advent of the Internet. However, the issues that drive an addictive or compulsive behavior to porn have always existed in men. The difference today is simply the access to porn. Porn addiction is a sex addiction. Unlike the sex addict, a person addicted to porn generally acts out exclusively or primarily with pornography.
Porn Addiction
What is a Porn Addiction?
An addiction to pornography can be more accurately described in terms of an intimacy disorder. Pornography acts as a barrier to intimacy for men. The perceived pain for men around being involved in intimate relationships (not only romantic relationships) becomes masked and temporarily medicated by the constant and repeated viewing of pornography. No man wants to be sitting alone for hours in front of a computer screen masturbating. However, men are choosing to do so because the alternative for them feels unbearable (even if unconscious).
The alternative is to open themselves to others in a way that is both vulnerable and authentic. Many men don’t choose to open up in that way because at the core they have terror around what people will actually see if they did. They fear that others would see them be unworthy and unlovable. They embody wounded masculinity.
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Treatment & Recovery from Porn Addiction
Addiction to pornography is powerful. It is important for the man to know that pornography is not the enemy and that for many men pornography has allowed them to cope with difficult and painful feelings. Essentially treatment for pornography begins with the acceptance that it actually has nothing to do with porn.
As always this does not mean openly indulging in porn but rather not simply investing recovery time in trying desperately to stop watching porn. It involves looking at areas within the man where the wounded masculinity may be at play. Ultimately, there must be a greater & deeper awareness of what is driving porn addiction. In addition, working with other men in this area is fundamental. It is very difficult to work through an issue such as porn addiction in isolation. Recovery takes time, effort, and a deep commitment to change. However, it is a gateway to becoming the person and man you know yourself to truly be.
