Men Chasing Success (& Fame)
Chasing success and fame are very common internal drives for many individuals and men. Chasing success is different from taking pride in being competent at what one does. To take pride in ones work is both important and honorable. Chasing success is rooted in a faulty belief system and always includes relationships as collateral damage. When a man is chasing success relationships are of little importance unless they are directly tied to his ability to ‘reach’ success. Chasing success can take the form of fantasizing about creating a new business, writing a seminal book, inventing a new product, producing a motion picture, etc. to name a few. These endeavours in and of themselves are not negative. We need men to create new meaningful businesses or to write new important books. However, what is the intention behind wanting to do so?
Chasing Success Explained
Many men at their core feel fundamentally inadequate, unworthy and ultimately unlovable. They may embody the wounded masculinity. If a man has deeply internalized these negative feelings the need and drive to chase success makes perfect sense. From their paradigm achieving success would prove their faulty belief system about being inadequate, unworthy and ultimately unlovable false. Grown men who are chasing success are much like children seeking love and approval. They are wanting the world to tell them that they are loved. However, chasing success will never provide the man what he is looking for because what others think of his accomplishments will never change what he thinks of himself. Only the man can move from believing himself to be unlovable to lovable and success will not provide that shift.
Moving away from the drive to chase success is actually quite scary for many men because now they are in a position of vulnerability. What will become of the man if he is not focused on chasing success? The work to be done here is to move more deeply into the pain associated with not chasing success. Through that pain the man will find what he needs to live a more authentic life.
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“Chasing success will never provide the man what he is looking for because what others think of his accomplishments will never change what he thinks of himself.”